


Loneliest Time of the Year

by midnight_cat



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Established Relationship, Grigori are assholes, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28376280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnight_cat/pseuds/midnight_cat
Summary: Rin breaks things off with Ryuuji three months before Christmas.  But is it really something as simple as them growing apart?  Or is something else the cause of Rin leaving?  Whatever it is, Ryuuji isn't going to let it take Rin away from him.
Relationships: Okumura Rin/Suguro "Bon" Ryuuji
Comments: 5
Kudos: 57





	Loneliest Time of the Year

_Here’s a little present for everyone! I was going to post this earlier, but Rin and Bon decided to hijack the story and totally change the ending. Actually, made it better than what I originally had planned. This story will be slightly angsty at first, but I guarantee a happy ending. So, enjoy this little one-shot as I work on the next chapter of “It’s OK If You Forget Me”._

**_ Song List _ ** _: “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) – Darlene Love; “Merry Christmas, Darling” – The Carpenters; “Miss You Most (At Christmas Time) – Mariah Carey; “Underneath the Tree” – Kelly Clarkson (reunion scene)._

**_ Disclaimer _ ** _: I don’t own the characters from Blue Exorcist. All characters are property of Kazue Kato._

* * *

_“I gaze out the window this cold winter’s night at all of the twinkling lights. Alone in the darkness remembering when you were mine.” – Mariah Carey._

_"I’m sorry, Ryuuji. It’s just that…damn it, I hate doing this! Things just aren’t working out between us. You’re more than wonderful…you don’t know how much. It’s me who’s the problem. And honestly, you deserve a lot better than me. It’s just best if we ended things now and tried to remain friends at least. I’ll…I’ll get the rest of my things later when it’s not so awkward between us.”_

He could still picture Rin’s unusually somber expression in his memory as he said the words no one ever wanted to hear. The slight hitch in Rin’s voice that hinted at the fact he was trying not to start crying. That small sound alone had made his stomach clench, knowing how jovial Rin usually was. Those dark navy eyes pleading with him to understand. How could he fucking even ask him that?! Sure – you’re just ripping my damn heart out with rusty pliers, but yeah, I’m supposed to somehow understand why you’re breaking us apart. Even though it’s obviously hurting you as much as me to say it.

The younger male hadn’t said anything after that. He took Ryuuji’s stunned silence as his answer, picking up his bags and leaving before the other man could say anything in response. Kuro had left with his master, although the cat sidhe had shot Ryuuji a pleading look as the door closed behind them. If he didn’t know better, he would have sworn Kuro was telling him to talk some sense into his master. It was one of the times he regretted not being able to understand the cat sidh. The love of his life had walked out on him three months ago…the worst night of his life. And given his profession as an exorcist, that said a lot. Three lonely months without Rin in his life. Before that, they’d been together for nearly two years when Rin decided to drop that bombshell out of nowhere. His behavior that night just didn’t make sense. He knew without a doubt the half-demon had been as happy as he was. What had changed?

During their time apart, he hadn’t spotted the other male anywhere. It was as if he had just vanished after walking out that night. The gossip mill ran overtime when news of their breakup spread throughout True Cross. A fact which annoyed Ryuuji to no end. As if it was their business whether he and Rin were still together. He’d even tried calling his now ex-boyfriend to try and talk things out. Apparently, Rin had changed his number without letting him know. When he questioned others about Rin, he was given a pitying look before they replied that they didn’t know how he was or even _where_ he was. Even their friends knew nothing, aside from the news of their breakup, and that made him suspicious. Yukio likely knew something, but the younger twin had never said anything to him about it. His parents had been disappointed after learning of their relationship ending. His mother, especially, loved Rin after they’d bonded during the whole Impure King incident. Ryuuji’s father had taken him aside, asking him how Rin had been acting that night when he decided to end things between them. After he told him, Tatsuma had clapped his son on the back and told him not to worry. Things would turn out for the best. He just had to keep hoping.

Ryuuji snorted softly to himself. It was a pretty sentiment, but it hadn’t done him a lot of good. Picking up his coffee mug, he walked over to the window in the small apartment he’d shared with Rin. He sipped at it idly, brown eyes staring outside at the pitch-black night. Snow swirled wildly in patterns against the panes of glass, reminding him of what day it was. Inside the living room, a small Christmas tree sat tucked in the corner, lights shining brightly in the darkened room. Decorations he and Rin had picked out were placed in random spots on the branches, a memory of happier times. A melancholy Christmas song started playing on the radio, adding to the depressive atmosphere. Given the circumstances, he almost hadn’t bothered with celebrating the season. But he would remember how happy the holiday made Rin, his birthday always coming a few days after Christmas. Rin’s things were still left scattered in various parts of the apartment where he’d left them. He hadn’t the heart to pack anything away in boxes, hoping that by leaving them where they were that Rin would return home where he belonged.

A knock at his front door brought his attention away from his private musings. Wondering who’d be fool enough to be out in this weather, he went to answer the door. Spying Yukio standing in the doorway, he tried to figure out why he was here on this night of all nights. “Well, this is a surprise. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Yukio?”

The bespectacled twin looked bedraggled, his dark brown hair glistening with melted snow. “I need to talk to you about something…or rather, someone important. May I come in?”

Realizing that he was referring to Rin, Ryuuji stepped back and allowed Yukio to enter the apartment. He absently flicked on the lights, wincing a little as his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness of the room. Walking over to the table, he sat down in one of the chairs, setting his mug onto the table. “Care for some coffee? I just made it.”

Yukio shook his head no, replying, “Shiemi’s expecting me soon. I wanted to talk to you before I met up with her.” His eyes took in the state of the apartment, noticing that his brother’s belongings were still there. That was when his attention was caught by one of the ornaments on the tree. The porcelain snowflake ornament was hung at the front of the tree. He recognized it instantly. Yukio could remember his brother’s happiness when he’d had it made. _“Look what I got, Yukio! Isn’t it the best thing you’ve ever seen? I know it’s gonna make Ryuuji so happy when he sees it!”_ The ornament had been customized with a picture of the couple, smiling happily at each other, the words “Our First Christmas” written below the picture. Looking back at the other male, he saw Ryuuji’s eyes staring steadily at him, knowing exactly what he’d been looking at. “You’re still not over nii-san, are you, Suguro-kun?”

Ryuuji sighed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Alright, you’ve caught me. I wasn’t aware there was a time limit that I needed to adhere to in regards to my relationship ending. Yes, I still fucking love your brother. Anything to say to that?”

Yukio said nothing as he walked over and sat down across from Ryuuji. “Good, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear. Because I’m honestly tired of seeing you two idiots pining over each other. I told nii-san not to do what he did, but that idiot wouldn’t listen. He never does.” He glanced up at Ryuuji and had to hold back an uncharacteristic snicker at the other man’s slack jawed expression. “Close your mouth, Suguro-kun, before you start to catch flies.”

Ryuuji’s jaw dropped as he heard Yukio’s reply. Had he heard him wrong? Rin was missing him? But he was the one who had broken things off! Then something he’d said caught his attention. “You know where Rin’s at, don’t you? Is he okay? I…I just want to know if he’s holding up. Then at least one of us will be.”

_These two will be the death of me, I swear!_ Yukio thought to himself, exasperated. He nodded, replying, “I’ve known where he’s been ever since he left. He asks about you, you know. He’s pretty much tortured himself over what he did.” Seeing the expression on Ryuuji’s face, he hurriedly continued. “Nii-san isn’t okay, Suguro-kun. I’ve never seen him such a wreck before. He’s taken this hard and although it’s not affected his ability to complete his mission yet, I’m just waiting for the day it will. He needs you as much as you need him.” He didn’t react as Ryuuji’s hand slammed onto the table, his mug rattling ominously as it was jarred.

“Then why did he break up with me?! That doesn’t sound like someone who’s heartbroken to me!” He stubbornly tried not to let himself think of Rin being injured or worse due to his current emotional state.

Yukio considered what he should say, knowing things were going to get ugly once he did. “Do you remember the day before he broke things off? He had a meeting if you’ll recall. Did he tell you with whom he was meeting?” Ryuuji shook his head no. “I figured as much. Knowing nii-san, he didn’t want to worry you. That day he was to meet with the Grigori.”

Ryuuji recalled the day Yukio was speaking of. _“I’ll be home later, okay? This meeting shouldn’t take that long. We can have some alone time when I get back!” Rin had kissed him goodbye, but his behavior had been off. He was acting nervous, as though he were going to some kind of trial._ Which, in retrospect, it had been apparently. “Why would they want to see Rin? He passed the exam and became an Exorcist like they demanded! And he’s not been in any sort of trouble that I know of!” Ryuuji’s eyes widened in horror as he realized what Yukio wasn’t saying. “They had something to do with his behavior that night, didn’t they?”

Yukio smiled as he saw the other man piecing things together. “There’s the smart student I knew.” His smile faded as he recalled that night’s events. “Nii-san came to see me after he met with the Grigori. I don’t know the full details, but I did manage to get him to tell me what happened. They broke his heart and soul that night, Suguro-kun. And I can’t forgive them for that. Word had gotten to them that Rin was in a relationship and happy. That alone irritated them. Because why should the son of Satan be happy, right? When they found out it was with you…well, I guess you can imagine what their reaction was.”

Ryuuji started to grow angry as he heard what Yukio said. “They threatened Rin, didn’t they? What was their ammunition they used against him?”

“You.” That one word caused a sudden silence to fall over the room.

Brown eyes widened incredulously. “ _Me_? What do you fucking mean they used me against Rin?”

“They know that you’re nii-san’s Achilles Heel. So, they gave him an ultimatum. Either break things off with you or they would destroy your entire Exorcist career. And the sad thing is, they have the power to do it. Nii-san has witnessed what they were capable of. He knew how important your career was to you…how it would help you reestablish your temple. And so, in another senseless act of martyrdom, he chose to end things between the two of you. I know you’re probably angry with him for what he did, but understand that it destroyed him to do so. I thought things were bad after our father died, but I think he’s in worse shape now than he was at that time.”

Ryuuji leaned his head into his hands, not knowing how to react to what Yukio had just told him. “Those bastards…what gives them the right to play God with other people’s lives?! Rin was _happy_! Probably the happiest I’ve ever seen him, except for when we passed the exorcist exam.” He paused as he decided what to do. “Where is he now?”

“Paris, France. Sir Pheles decided to give him a long-term mission until things blew over. He’s been doing what he can to gain an edge over the council, so they can’t harm either you or Rin.”

“Screw them! If they’re trying to hold the temple hostage over my head, the Myoo Dharani can break ties with True Cross. They act as if they’re innocent of any wrongdoing, when their hands are as dirty as anyone else’s!” He abruptly got out of his chair as he went to the sink and emptied out his cup. “Was that all you wanted to tell me, Yukio?”

“What are you going to do now, Suguro-kun?”

“What the hell do you think I’m going to do?! I’m going to find that idiot and give him a lecture about letting those assholes run his life! And then I’m bringing him back home where he belongs!”

Getting up from the table, Yukio reached into his coat pocket. “You’ll need this.” He handed Ryuuji a slip of paper. It had Rin’s new cellphone number and his address on it. “Good luck, Suguro-kun.”

* * *

Ryuuji finally allowed himself to relax as he left his apartment. It all made sense now. How could Rin have let them bully him like that? But deep down, he had always known that Rin had a protective streak a mile long. It didn’t matter if he was hurt as long as everyone else was safe. They’d _really_ need to have a long talk about that. The reactions of everyone he told had varied, ranging from outrage to some being unsurprised that the Grigori had acted as they had. Everyone knew they had always had it out for Rin since they’d discovered his existence. It was common knowledge they detested him, only allowing him to live because he served as a weapon against Satan and his demons. Rin may have conceded to their demands, but Ryuuji would be damned if he let it continue. His father had suspected as much when he let him know.

_“Go after him, Ryuuji. You were correct in what you told young Okumura-kun. The temple can secede from True Cross without any complications. If this is how they’re going to treat my future son-in-law, then they’re not worthy to associate with.”_

_Ryuuji had sputtered as he heard his father call Rin his future son-in-law. “We’ve not gotten that far in our relationship, Dad! You’re pushing things a little, aren’t ya?” He heard his father laugh._

_“Son, it’s inevitable that you two will marry someday. I’ve seen how you look at young Rin. I might be old, but I’m not senile.”_

The more he had let himself think about his father’s words, the more he realized that he wanted Rin to be his husband. Just let those bastards try to take Rin away then. He’d wage war if need be if it meant he could keep Rin at his side. As he walked into the building where True Cross made its headquarters, he found himself face-to-face with Mephisto. Never sure how to act around the demon king, he nodded his head to acknowledge him.

“Ah, young Suguro-kun! I take it Okumura-kun finally filled you in on what the Grigori tried to do? And I’m assuming you’re going after young Rin, yes?” As Ryuuji nodded, the demon smiled, his fangs taking up his smile. “Perfect! I’ll let your superiors know you’re taking some… _personal_ time off and won’t be going on any missions until you return. Just a small hint – Paris is a _wonderful_ city to get married in.” Handing Ryuuji a thick envelope, he continued, “This should help your plans.” With that said, he threw a jaunty wave and went on down the hallway.

Curious, he opened the envelope and nearly had a heart attack. Inside were all the documents required for a civil ceremony. _How the hell did he even know?_ Then he remembered that as the demon king of time and space, he had control over the various timelines. Ryuuji just shook his head in resignation at Mephisto’s antics, supposing he should be used to it by this time. The sudden thought that Mephisto would be his sort of brother-in-law almost made him shudder in fear. Brushing that thought aside, he inserted his key into a door and soon found himself in the Paris headquarters of True Cross. A few short stops were next in his plans, knowing soon he’d be seeing Rin again.

* * *

Rin absently closed the door behind him as he entered his temporary apartment. For a moment, he allowed himself the fantasy of believing that he was coming home to Ryuuji, but it didn’t help ease his loneliness. Setting his bag of groceries on the kitchen counter, he began putting the contents away. “Kuro, I’m back! How about some sukiyaki for dinner, huh?” But even the thought of fixing his favorite dinner didn’t fill him with the joy it used to.

**_“_ ** **Sukiyaki!”**

Rin smiled as he heard Kuro’s happy exclamation, the cat sidh bounding into the kitchen. “I take it you’re happy about dinner tonight, then.”

Kuro saw Rin smile, but it didn’t light up his face as it should have. He knew his master still missed Ryuuji. **“Rin, I miss Ryuuji. And I know you do as well. I wish he was here with us.”**

Rin’s smile faded at Kuro’s words. “You’re right. I do miss him, buddy. But it’s for the best. I just have to keep telling myself that.” Hearing a knocking on his apartment door made him share a confused look with Kuro. No one, except Yukio and Mephisto, knew where he was. Maybe it was someone who had gotten lost looking for the wrong apartment number. Nothing prepared him for who was standing in his doorway. Navy blue eyes widened in shock as he saw Ryuuji standing there, a bag slung over his shoulder. “Ryuuji?” He whispered the name almost reverently. “That’s it. I’ve finally cracked and you’re just a hallucination.” Ryuuji looked the same as when Rin had left three months ago. He still had the blond streak through his dark brown hair, his multiple piercings gleaming in the light from the hallway. His beautiful brown eyes were a little more tired looking, though, as if he wasn’t getting enough sleep. Rin wondered for a moment if he’d been suffering from nightmares or his migraines again. He hoped that he wasn’t the cause for the exhaustion that seemed to line the other man’s face, but deep down he knew he was.

Ryuuji huffed slightly in irritation. “Now look, I’m not a damn hallucination, you idiot. We need to talk. Something you neglected to do three months ago before you just walked out on us.”

_I’m not going crazy. Pretty sure a figment of my imagination wouldn’t call me an idiot. Who let him know where I was?_ Rin stepped aside and resisted the urge to reach out and touch his ex-boyfriend as he walked through the door. He could hear Kuro’s excited exclamation as the cat sidh saw Ryuuji. Closing the door, he turned around and saw the older man kneeling down to pet Kuro. Kuro had practically wound his body around Ryuuji’s legs, demanding for him to make up for the attention he hadn’t received since they had left. He settled down and eventually retreated to one of the couches, his green eyes watching to see what his favorite humans would do.

An awkward silence hung between the two men, each one uncertain how to proceed as Ryuuji stood up. Finally, Rin broke the silence. “How did you find me, Ryuuji? Why are you even here? I was pretty certain that after I ended things you wouldn’t want to see me again.”

Ryuuji said nothing at first, taking in the changes to Rin’s appearance. Yukio had been right. Rin wasn’t his normal self. His face seemed drawn as if he hadn’t been sleeping well. Dark splotches under his eyes made the blue of his eyes even darker. He was pretty sure they were even in that regard. “Imagine my surprise when I heard someone knocking on my door and it was your brother. I’m pretty sure we’ve annoyed the hell out of him for him to interfere like this. When he tells you that you and your ex are pining like idiots, then it’s a good assumption. He told me everything, Rin. Why couldn’t you tell me?!”

Rin grumbled under his breath. He’d been expecting Mephisto to stick his nose into his business, not his brother. Of course, his twin would blab everything, even though it was uncharacteristic of him. They really _had_ annoyed him. “Since you know everything, then you know the reason. I was trying to protect you! If I had told you what they’d said, you would have wanted to confront them. Damn it, Ryuuji! I know how important the temple is to you. I’ve known since we were in cram school! It didn’t matter what they did to me, but I’d be goddamned if I let them sabotage your career!”

Ryuuji glanced down as he rummaged in his pants pocket. Bringing his hand out, he raised it up, letting the ornament swing from his fingertips. “You remember the day you gave me this, right? We promised each other that we would help fight each other’s battles, no matter what they were. That for better or worse, we wouldn’t let anyone separate us. Didn’t that promise mean anything to you?”

Rin’s eyes were fixated on the ornament, even as he felt the tears building up. He’d kept it? “You know damn well that it meant _everything_ to me! I just…I know what they’re like. How ruthless they can be. I wanted to spare you that, even if it meant I lost everything that made me happy.” He felt the tears slide down his face as he closed his eyes. The next thing he felt was a warm body coming into contact with his, strong arms wrapping themselves around him. Startled, his eyes flew open. The beloved brown eyes he had been missing for three months stared back at him. Then Ryuuji was kissing him, letting him know exactly how much he’d missed him. The kiss eventually ended because of a need for air. Rin felt his face heat up at the look in his ex-boyfriend’s eyes.

“Idiot,” Ryuuji chided, as he pulled back from Rin. “Yes, I know in the past how much I stressed the temple being important to me. But I found something more important since then – _you_. You’re more important to me, Rin, and I’m not letting you go that easily. Rin, answer this question honestly. Do you love me?” At Rin’s fervent nodding, he laughed softly. “Then that should make this question easy to answer. Will you do me the honor of marrying me and becoming my husband?”

Rin gaped as he heard Ryuuji’s question. “You…you want me to marry you? Are you sure? I mean, it’s a big decision and you know how people view my status as a half-demon…” He stopped as Ryuuji placed a finger against his lips.

“Yes, Rin, I’m sure. I’ve never been more certain of anything. Hell, my dad even thinks of you as his son-in-law! And you know Ma adores you. Who cares if you’re a half-demon? You should know by now that doesn’t matter to me. You’re Rin and that’s all that matters.”

Rin couldn’t stop the shaky laugh that escaped his lips as the waterworks started again. He grabbed hold of Ryuuji’s shirt and pulled him in for another kiss. “Yes,” he whispered against Ryuuji’s mouth before kissing him again. “I’d love nothing more than to be married to you.”

Ryuuji’s face broke into a broad smile, his heart the happiest it had been since Rin walked out. “Then get your shoes on and grab a jacket!” He placed his bag onto the couch and rummaged through it looking for something. “Here it is!” Pulling out a small, black box, he placed it into his inside jacket pocket along with the envelope Mephisto handed him. He patiently waited as Rin grabbed his shoes and put a thick jacket on to ward off the winter chill, placing his keys into his pocket.

“What was that you got out of your bag?” Rin questioned. “And where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.” Ryuuji responded. “But it’s a good one, I promise. Come on!” With a goodbye to Kuro, he pulled Rin out of the apartment, waiting as he locked the door behind him. Then they were on their way.

Rin had to wonder if he was dreaming when they finally came to their destination. They were standing on the steps to the city hall. His head whipped around to meet Ryuuji’s smiling face. “We’re getting married _now_?! But we don’t have the paperwork or even the rings!” Then it struck him that Ryuuji wouldn’t do something so impulsive if he wasn’t prepared. “You’re not telling me something. What is it?”

“You have Mephisto to thank for the paperwork. He surprised me with it when I was on my way here. And as for the rings, I may have stopped at a jeweler’s before going to your apartment.”

Rin was stunned for a moment at the thought of Mephisto of all people deciding to help them. “That was nice of him, but still kind of creepy at the same time.” Grabbing hold of Ryuuji’s hand, he squeezed it gently. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go get hitched!”

* * *

The newlyweds lay on the couch, content in just holding each other. Kuro lay sprawled out on the other couch, sleeping off his dinner, his ears twitching every few minutes. To Rin it was perfect. A Christmas miracle come true. The glint of blue caught his eye and he glanced down at his wedding ring. Its twin resided on Ryuuji’s finger. Just seeing it made him smile, thinking back to their impromptu wedding.

_Thankfully, they had arrived early enough that civil ceremonies were still being performed. They would close down early later in the day to observe the Christmas holiday. Rin positively vibrated with excitement as Ryuuji handed the officiant the necessary paperwork. He couldn’t believe it was really happening! They had one of the employees act as their needed witness. Reciting their vows to each other. Putting their wedding rings on for the first time. He couldn’t help but tear up when Ryuuji had said those rings specifically reminded him of Rin’s eyes. Their first kiss as a newly married couple. Ryuuji picking him up in his arms and carrying him over the threshold of his apartment._

“You know Ma’s going to want to organize our ceremony in Japan, right? I can picture it now and it’s going to be a frenzy of wedding plans.”

Rin glanced up at his husband…God, did it feel wonderful to think that! “It’s fine with me. We did kind of deprive them of a wedding, after all.”

Warm brown eyes lovingly stared at the man lying on his chest. “Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. She can be a madwoman when she starts planning. With that said, I didn’t get a chance to give you your gift yet, did I?” At Rin’s negative reply, he reached down and grabbed a small wrapped package out of his bag. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to give you this or not. It all depended on if you accepted my proposal. Go ahead and open it.”

Rin accepted the package and swiftly opened it. Inside the paper lay a circular porcelain ornament with a tiny red bow at the top. The words _Our First Christmas Married_ with the year were written in black lettering. Hugging Ryuuji, he replied, “I love it. We’ll put it with our first ornament next year.” Snuggling back down, he continued, “I wonder if we could have Mephisto personally deliver the Grigori a wedding invitation. Especially knowing they can’t do anything since we’re already married. God knows he’d find it amusing and I’d love to see their expression when they got it.” Hearing Ryuuji’s sudden laughter, he couldn’t help but laugh himself. The Grigori had tried to destroy him by threatening the one he loved. And in the end, things had worked out for the better, with their relationship stronger than it was before.

* * *

Yukio heard the tone that meant he had a new text message. Grabbing his phone, he saw that it was from Rin. _Guess who’s a married man? Ryuuji and I got married this afternoon! Will be back in Japan soon after we have a little honeymoon! Merry Christmas, Yukio, and say hi to Shiemi for us!_ His twin had sent a photo as well. He could see the couple smiling as they showed off their wedding rings. Now he knew what Mephisto had meant when he said he was trying to find a way where Rin and Ryuuji couldn’t be threatened by the Grigori. “I’ll be damned. I never thought they’d do that.”

Shiemi, curious, glanced over at Yukio’s phone. Her eyes widened as she read Rin’s text. “Oh, that’s wonderful! I’m so glad they’re happy! But we definitely need to throw them a celebration when they return!”

Yukio chuckled. “Knowing Suguro-kun’s mother, that’s probably being done as we speak. I’m glad. They’re happy now and that’s all that matters.”


End file.
